This is a ‘coming of old age’ memoir of a baby boomer, describing how she kicked herself up her sorry backside when her husband fell in love with a young woman, pulled herself out of deep menopausal doldrums and rather spectacularly got her man, life and sexuality back. In a rip-roaring ride through her 60s, she learnt how to become a flamboyant, successful flirt, embracing the party raver scene and danced her socks off. (just turned 73 and still dancing.) How did this sit with one of her successful careers as a former Enlightenment Master? Rather well actually as this late flowering and concomitant inner struggle with vanity and aging, led her to greater spiritual acceptance of how she actually is, not how she should be. Her spiritual practice and evolution is predicated on how real and honest she can be and this combined with an entertaining narrative style, will hopefully inspire others. In truth, she hated getting wrinkles, she was very vain, she loved raving and to crown it all, she discovered in her 60s that she harboured a Russian Bar Girl (modelled on women who use their allure to pick up men in bars).
For most of her life she regarded her sexual self as sinful and that to be spiritual required her to be saint-like and suppress this. She describes the struggle she faced to reconcile these opposing sides of herself and harks back to a childhood where she was accosted by twisted sexuality and dodgy religion while watching her beautiful mother, Olga, succumb to schizophrenia. She describes how part of fulfilling herself in her 60s, was to honour her Ukrainian mother who had to suppress her sexy flirtatious self at the hands of the oppressive regimes of Stalin and Hitler.
Her role model and friend was a beautiful party Queen, Poonie, who flirted effortlessly and remained committed to her doctor husband. She succumbed to breast cancer and at the age of 48 died in a blaze of love, all movingly described.
Eva describes how she faced the demons of three major illnesses, including a rare blood cancer and recounts how she has tackled these challenges and in doing so, deepened her self-awareness. She describes various attachments to gurus and spiritual paths and conscious exploration of drugs such as ecstasy, psilocybin and ayahuasca, using intention and focus in order to discover greater awareness (following Aldous Huxley’s model).
Underlying all of this is Eva’s relationship with Jake. This long marriage and its ever-fresh romance, is the most exciting thread of all and has been a journey to greater love and fulfilment. This has not been plain sailing. Many sticky patches have been resolved including serious health issues such as sciatica and lung cancer all grist for the mill for their unfolding relationship, as they enter the winter of their lives after a rather spectacular autumn. They are now exploring the delights of smallholding, with chickens and a large organic fruit and vegetable garden in which their grandchildren can frolic.
I am 72 and have been happily married for 40 years. I have written a book ‘Sexy at 70’ which is out on October 10th. I joined Instagram last year. My goal was to reach 10,000 followers so I could promote my book. Then I got really scared. Did I dare to come out as a sexy, older woman on a platform like Instagram? I thought everyone would laugh at me and say ‘How can someone over seventy, be sexy?’ But I did dare and the response has been amazing and life affirming. I reached 10 K. This has been the biggest way to break stereo types. People say I give them hope.